


That's All

by Kittenmommy



Series: Duke's Travels: The Musical Box and Other Stories [4]
Category: British Singers RPF, Doctor Who (2005), Genesis (Band), Real Person Fiction, Torchwood
Genre: Companionable Snark, Gen, Humor, I Don't Even Know, Jack flirts with anything that moves, Lots of Classic Who references, Magic 8-Ball, Mike Rutherford pays attention, Mild Language, Phil Collins outwits the aliens, Precision F-Strike, RPF, Rock Stars, This is the last bit I promise, Time War, Tony Banks is a BAMF, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-19
Updated: 2012-12-18
Packaged: 2017-11-21 12:56:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/598018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittenmommy/pseuds/Kittenmommy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Martha and I are going for a quick drink,” Jack said.  “We have some catching up to do.”</p><p>“You’ll want to see this first,” Toshiko told him, and swiveled the screen so he could see.</p><p>“What is it?” Martha asked curiously, leaning forward to get a better view.  “Oh my God!”</p><p>The video and the sound were both poor, but that didn’t matter.  </p><p>Jack and Martha watched in disbelief as the Doctor walked past his police box and across the stage, stopping to toss something to the man sitting behind the keyboards.</p><p>“It’s Genesis,” Toshiko said quietly.</p><p>“Hot damn, we’ve got them!” Jack crowed.  “We’ve <i>finally</i> got them!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "Go Away!"

**Author's Note:**

> None of this stuff belongs to me. If it did, I’d be writing this on some beach in the Caribbean. No, scratch that. Sand + MacBook is a recipe for disaster. How about a private balcony stateroom on a cruise ship somewhere instead? 
> 
> But – as usual – I digress.
> 
>  _Doctor Who_ and _Torchwood_ belong the BBC.
> 
> The members of [Genesis](http://www.genesis-music.com/) are real people and (obviously) belong to themselves, and the song "[That's All](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHRozVtAyKk)" and others mentioned/heard in this fic belong to them too.
> 
> I sincerely hope that everyone mentioned above continues with their brilliant plan of not suing me for any of this nonsense, because it’s been working out so well for all of us so far!
> 
> The Magic 8-Ball belongs to [Mattel](http://www.mattel.com/).
> 
> And I'm not making any money from this.
> 
> * * *
> 
> MY ARTISTIC LICENSE, LET ME SHOW YOU IT: Yes, I am fully aware that Genesis didn’t perform “That’s All” on their 2007 reunion tour. So please don’t e mail me to complain about the inaccuracy. Besides, anyone who complains about historical inaccuracy in a _Doctor Who_ fic probably needs to find another hobby, if you know what I mean.
> 
> * * *
> 
> ADDITIONAL: This fic was originally posted on [A Teaspoon And An Open Mind: A Doctor Who Fanfiction Archive ](http://www.whofic.com) on March 27, 2008... which was someone’s 58th birthday. ;)
> 
> Happy birthday, Mr. Banks! Please don’t sue me. Thank you! :D

The lights changed, came up, and the keyboard player launched into a jaunty tune. The sold-out crowd at Twickenham Stadium went wild as Phil Collins stepped up to the microphone and began to sing:

“ _Just as I thought it was going alright,_  
 _Found out I’m wrong when I thought I was right_  
 _‘Salways the same, it’s just a shame, that’s all._

_Well, I could say day and you’d say night,_  
 _Tell me it’s black when I know that it’s white_  
 _‘Salways the same, it’s just a shame, that’s all._ ”

Suddenly, a deafening roar thundered through the elaborate sound system as the stage microphones began picking up another sound, a sound that had nothing to do with the musicians and their equipment. 

It was an odd wheezing, groaning noise that caused the high whine of feedback to come out of the enormous speakers like spikes shot directly into the audience’s ears. Most people were groaning and covering their ears against the noise, so only a handful of people actually saw the blue form fade into existence on the stage, sitting neatly between Phil and Mike Rutherford.

The unbearable noise abruptly stopped. 

Before anyone could recover, a door opened and a thin young man with brown hair that somehow managed to stick up and flop over simultaneously emerged from inside. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his long tan coat, slowly surveyed the scene before him, and then turned abruptly to Phil, grinning hugely as flashbulbs went off all over the arena.

“Blimey,” he said, the stage mics picking up his voice and broadcasting it throughout the arena. “You lot sure do pack ‘em in, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Phil agreed. He gestured at the audience. “I’d love to chat, Doctor, but we’re a bit busy right now, you know?” The audience roared its approval of these words.

The Doctor turned to look at Tony Banks, who was sitting behind his keyboards, arms folded across his chest and an unwelcoming scowl on his face.

“I see,” he said, turning back to Phil. “Right. Won’t take but a moment.” 

He bounded over to Mike and grasped his left wrist, holding it and the bracelet he wore on it up for closer inspection. 

“Hello, Mike. Where’d you get this?” he asked.

Mike shrugged. “Dunno, Doctor. A fan gave it to me.”

“A fan,” the Doctor repeated, shaking his head in disbelief. “May I borrow it?” 

Before Mike could answer, the Doctor had it off his wrist and was holding something in his other hand, something cylindrical with a glowing blue tip that produced a whirring, humming little sound. 

“Right, that’s fixed it,” he said cheerfully. He strolled over to the keyboards and tossed the bracelet at Tony, who picked it neatly out of the air. 

The Doctor leaned forward, putting both hands on the top of the keyboard and leaning forward so that they were practically nose-to-nose. When he spoke, his voice was low and deadly serious – and easily picked up by the nearby microphone that was meant for backing vocals:

“You _really_ want to be more observant in the future.”

Tony looked down briefly at the bracelet in his hand and then back up at the Doctor, glaring murderously. 

“Get. Out. Of. Here. _Now!_ ” he grated out from between clenched teeth.

He glanced up at the huge video screen behind him and realized that his little conversation with the Doctor was being broadcast to everyone in the stadium. 

He glared in the general direction of the back of the venue and snapped, “Get that fucking camera off!” The screen immediately darkened.

“Oh, Tony,” the Doctor said, straightening up and grinning. “It’s always _such_ a pleasure to see you!”

Tony stood up, pocketed the bracelet, and pointed at the blue box. “ _Now!_ ” he repeated, absolutely livid.

“All right, all right,” the Doctor said, holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I’ll be on my way in a moment.”

Meanwhile, security people dressed in black had finally arrived on stage and were hurrying over to the Doctor. “Come on, sir. You’re not allowed up here.”

“I’m allowed everywhere!” the Doctor informed them smugly. He produced a wallet and flashed it at the security men. “Snap!”

The men goggled at it. “ _All area access_ ,” one of them read. “Right, let him go.”

“Oh no you don’t!” Tony had come out from behind his keyboards and was striding over purposefully. He snatched the wallet out of the Doctor’s hand and angrily brandished it at the security personnel. “It doesn’t say any such thing. See?”

The men exchanged uncertain glances. “But it said – ”

“No it didn’t,” Tony said with finality. “It’s a blank piece of paper!” 

The wallet joined the bracelet in his pocket. “Now get him out of here. And take that bloody blue box with you!”

The security personnel began to hustle the Doctor away. “But he took my psychic – ” 

“Come on you,” one of the security guys said, pulling the Doctor along. “We don’t want any trouble, do we?”

“What?” The Doctor held up crossed fingers. “Trouble and I, we’re like this!”

“I believe that!” Mike called after him. “I’ve never met anyone who can piss Tony off like you do!”

“Best part is, I don’t even have to try!” the Doctor cheerfully agreed as he was finally hauled off the stage.

Three more security people managed to lug the blue box away, and much to the delight of the audience, the concert finally recommenced.

* * *

_Meanwhile, deep inside Torchwood’s underground lair in Cardiff…_

Toshiko Sato sat staring at the computer screen, biting her lower lip. 

Jack Harkness walked in, followed by Martha Jones.

“Martha and I are going for a quick drink,” Jack told her. “We have some catching up to do.”

“You’ll want to see this first,” Toshiko told him, and swiveled the screen so he could see.

“What is it?” Martha asked curiously, leaning forward to get a better view. “Oh my God!”

The video and the sound were both poor, but that didn’t matter. 

Jack and Martha watched in disbelief as the Doctor walked past his police box and across the stage, stopping to toss something to the man sitting behind the keyboards.

“It’s Genesis,” Toshiko said quietly.

“Hot damn, we’ve got them!” Jack crowed. “We’ve _finally_ got them!”

“What do you mean, you’ve got them?” Martha asked, bewildered.

“Torchwood’s been watching them for years on suspicion of alien activity. We’ve got a file on them _this thick_ – ” He held up his hand, thumb and forefinger parted to demonstrate. “ – and we even planted an agent inside their organization as a roadie in the ‘80s and ‘90s. Even with all that, we’ve never actually been able to _prove_ anything. But now we’ve definitely got them!”

“Oh no,” Martha groaned.

“Where’s this video from?” Jack asked.

“It’s from one of our field operatives,” Toshiko replied.

Jack’s eyes widened. “Are you telling me this is a _live feed_? That this is happening somewhere _right now_?”

“Yeah. Twickenham Stadium.”

“Book us on the next flight to London,” he ordered. “Come on, Martha. Let’s go see a concert!”

She looked up at him with pleading eyes. 

“Jack. Don’t do this. _Please_.”

“The Doctor’s there. _Right now_. Don’t you want to see him again?”

She looked at the ground. 

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” Then her head came up and she locked eyes with Jack. “Just please don’t do this.”

Toshiko looked up at Martha and studied her for a moment. “You know something,” she finally said. “And it’s something worth knowing, by the looks of it.” Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Has UNIT got a file on them too?”

“I don’t know,” Martha answered truthfully. “I never thought to ask.”

“And why would you have?” Toshiko asked softly. Martha wouldn’t meet her eye.

“I’m going, Martha,” Jack said decisively. “With or without you. Now what’s it gonna be?”

Martha sighed. “I’ll get my coat.”

* * *

The audience was still cheering and applauding when the band made their way offstage.

They were chatting amongst themselves about the gig they’d just played when suddenly there was a new person among them, a person who draped one long arm around Tony’s shoulders.

“I could leave but I won’t go,” the Doctor sang with far more enthusiasm than skill, “Though my hearts might tell me so, I can’t feel a thing from my head down to my toes! But why does it always seem to be, me lookin’ at you, you lookin’ at me – ”

“Get off!” Tony said irritably, ducking out from under the other man’s arm. He stopped walking and turned, glaring. “Don’t you know when you’re not wanted?”

The Doctor took a small black ball out of one of the voluminous pockets of his tan coat, shook it briefly, and peered intently at its bottom. He blinked, pulled out a pair of glasses, put them on, and peered at the ball again. 

“ _My sources say no_ ,” he finally read with a frown. “Aw, wait, that’s not fair!” he protested.

“That’s the most accurate answer I’ve ever seen one of those things give,” Phil observed mildly, watching the Doctor toss the Magic 8-Ball in the air, catching it neatly in his other hand.

“It’s rigged!” the Doctor told them confidently, putting the toy back in his pocket. “Must be.”

“Must be,” Mike agreed with a grin.

“Right,” Tony said, rolling his eyes. “Doctor – ”

“Listen,” the Doctor interrupted in a low voice. “We need to talk. You and I.”

“No.” Tony began walking again, not seeming to care whether or not the others followed.

The Doctor hurried after him and tried again. 

“That bracelet – ” he began a bit breathlessly.

“I know what it is, and I’ll deal with it. Now clear off!”

“Oh, but I think you could use my help…” He took the Magic 8-Ball out and shook it again. “Look, look here. It says _Reply hazy, try again_.” He frowned at it and made a disappointed sound. “Well, that was rather anticlimactic, wasn’t it?” 

“Go _away!_ ”

“He says that a lot,” the Doctor said earnestly, glancing at Phil and Mike over the top of his glasses. “Have you guys noticed he says that a lot? He _really_ seems to say that a lot.”

“Yeah, he says it a lot when _you’re_ around,” Phil agreed.

“I wonder if there could possibly be some kind of connection,” Mike mused, and Phil laughed.

They passed a small group of people standing together in the hallway, talking.

“Tony,” one of the women called after them, “Who’s that?”

“Never mind, Darling,” was the terse reply.

“ _Darling_?” the Doctor repeated, now very interested indeed. He slowed down and craned his neck to gawk back at the woman. “So is that your wife?”

Tony grabbed his arm and dragged him along, his expression unreadable. The others hurried to keep up.

“Is she human?” the Doctor continued gleefully. “She is, isn’t she? She’s human! Good for you!” he said with an enormous grin. “Good for brilliant old – ”

“You can wait in here,” Tony said shortly, shoving him none too gently into a room. 

Before the Doctor could react, the door was pulled shut and he heard the familiar humming _whirr_ of a sonic screwdriver at work.

He grabbed the doorknob and tried to turn it. It wouldn’t budge. 

“Hey! Let me out of here!” he called, rattling the door.

“I don’t think so, Doctor. Not until I’ve had a shower and something to eat. In the meantime, do _try_ to stay out of trouble.”

“Oh come on, Tony,” the Doctor said in a cajoling voice. “You’re not _really_ going to leave me locked up in here, are you?” He glanced around, taking a brief inventory of his “prison”. “With only a couple of old beat up leather sofas and some tattered back issues of _The Sun_ to keep me company! Tony?”

The only reply was the sound of retreating footsteps.

The Doctor sighed.

“Well, two can play at this game,” he muttered, putting a hand in his pocket. He frowned, withdrew his hand, and began checking his other pockets. A moment later, comprehension dawned and he abandoned his search.

“He picked my pocket!” he told the empty room in a tone that was equal parts outrage and admiration. “He took my sonic screwdriver!”


	2. The Most Dangerous Object In The Universe

As it turned out, Toshiko couldn’t get Martha and Jack on a plane to London; it was late, and the last flight to London had already boarded.

“It’s only three hours, we can drive it,” Jack had said. “You up for a road trip, Martha?”

Martha had agreed, but wondered if they would get there in time, before the Doctor left. 

She wasn’t sure whether she was more worried that they wouldn’t make it in time to see him or that they _would_.

The first half of their drive to London was spent in silence, with Martha staring pensively out the passenger window.

Finally, she spoke.

“Jack, when you first met the Doctor… you said he looked different then.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “He had black hair, a stockier build, and a totally different face. And some really stunning blue eyes!”

“But how’s that possible?”

Jack shrugged. “He’s a Time Lord. They can regenerate their bodies when they become ill or damaged. Or too old, I guess.”

“And _all_ Time Lords can do that?”

“Yeah, as far as I know. The Time Lords were a mysterious bunch; no one really knew a lot about them. You’d have to ask the Doctor if you want all the details. He’s the last Time Lord, after all.”

“Yeah,” she agreed readily, and something in her voice made a little alarm bell go off in the back of Jack’s head. He mentally filed this away for future consideration. 

“So. How many times?” she asked.

“How many times can they regenerate?” He glanced over at Martha, and she nodded. “I’m not sure. Like I said, they were a mysterious bunch. But I got the idea that they were limited by something. Age, maybe. Or incarnations. I’m not sure which.” He frowned. “Why are you asking about this?”

She shrugged. “No reason. Just curious.” And she went back to staring out the window.

Jack frowned and kept driving.

* * *

The Doctor had searched the little room briefly for an escape route before resigning himself to being trapped for however long Tony wanted him there. 

By the time he finally heard the familiar hum of a sonic screwdriver – _his_ sonic screwdriver! – he was sprawled across the sofa, his tan coat rolled up under his head for a makeshift pillow.

“Think we’re going to kiss and make up?” he murmured to his Magic 8-Ball. He gave it a shake and frowned at the answer. “ _My sources say no_? What sources? What kind of sources could you possibly – ”

Tony opened the door and entered, followed by Phil and Mike, who shut the door behind them. They were wearing different clothing, and appeared to be freshly showered.

“Enjoying yourself, Doctor?” Tony asked. He sounded amused.

“Not really, no.” The Doctor sat up on the sofa and frowned, shaking the toy. “This thing never gives good answers. Waste of money if you ask me.”

“I didn’t,” Tony said. 

The Doctor frowned up at the trio, taking in their clothing. “You guys sure like black.”

“It matches our hearts,” Phil said, and Mike laughed.

“So, Doctor,” Tony interrupted, “where’s Miss Jones? You didn’t get her killed, did you?”

“No!” The Doctor sounded appalled by this suggestion. 

“Good. She sent me a Christmas card.”

The Doctor was obviously surprised by this information. “Did she really?”

Tony nodded. “Said she was finishing her medical training. I assumed she wasn’t with you, but one never knows. So, what happened?”

“She… ah… well you see…” The Doctor ran a hand through his hair. “… she left.”

“Why in the world she want to part company with a prize like you?” Tony murmured. 

The Doctor glared at him. “You have no idea what she went through. The Year That Never Was!”

“The what?” Phil asked.

The Doctor waved a hand dismissively. “Never mind, you wouldn’t remember.”

Tony was leaning against the wall, looking thoughtful. “This… _Year That Never Was_ … it wouldn’t have anything to do with certain recent events on _The Valiant_ , would it?”

The Doctor sighed. “Pull up a chair, guys. Or a sofa, I guess, and make yourselves comfortable. This is quite a story.”

* * *

When the Doctor had finished telling it, Tony was staring at him in shock.

“Let me see if I have this straight, _Doctor_. You allowed the Master – a notorious criminal! – access to your TARDIS, which he used to build a bloody _Paradox Machine_ – ”

“That’s not fair!” the Doctor protested. “It’s not like I handed the old girl over to him. He just walked right in and took her!”

Phil was frowning. “But why don’t we remember any of this?”

“You weren’t close enough to the Paradox Machine,” the Doctor explained. “Its range was limited to – ”

“I’ve been having dreams lately… very strange dreams,” Mike interrupted suddenly. 

Everyone stared at him, and the Doctor motioned for him to continue. 

“We’re in your orange box, Tony, in that big room with the controls. Phil and I, and all of our friends, families, wives, kids… but not you. I don’t know where you were. Your wife, she…” He stopped, took a breath, and went on. “Well, anyway, we were all there. That thing in the middle was going up and down, and there was a sound like a mournful bell tolling far away somewhere. And suddenly a hologram of you came on. It said…” Mike frowned, trying to remember. “It said, _This is Emergency Program One_ – ”

“ – _this time capsule will not return for me_ ,” Phil finished with him in a dreamy, faraway voice. He exchanged startled looks with Mike. “It _wasn’t_ a dream, was it?” he asked, sounding as shaken as Mike and Tony looked.

“No, it wasn’t,” the Doctor agreed grimly. He glanced at Tony. “You sent them away in your TARDIS, to somewhere where they’d be safe. You sent them away, but you stayed behind. I wonder why you did _that_ ,” he mused.

“No use guessing now,” Tony said with a shrug.

“Hmm, I wonder,” the Doctor said. 

He leaned back against the sofa, studying the other Time Lord thoughtfully. ‘Without you there, your TARDIS would’ve eventually died… faded away… been forgotten.”

Tony shrugged, as if it were unimportant.

“We were all recalled for the Time War, you know,” the Doctor said musingly. “All of us so-called renegades. And the High Council even dug up the Master to aid the cause, for all the good it did. But not you. They didn’t recall _you_. Interesting.”

“Not really. Now, about the bracelet – ” Tony began.

The Doctor leaned forward and stared hard at Tony. “What did they give you?” he asked.

“Who?” Tony’s face was the picture of innocence.

“Oh, come on! The High Council. What did they give you? What are you carrying?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking – ”

“The Eye of Rassilon?” the Doctor wondered. “It wouldn’t do to have _that_ falling into Dalek hands… if they had hands, that is. Suckers, then.”

“Doctor, you know that even if that were that true, I couldn’t _possibly_ discuss – ” 

“And what better place to hide it than on a backwater Level Five planet with a Time Lord that most people had forgotten even existed?” 

Phil and Mike were watching this exchange with interest. 

“What’s the Eye of Rassilon?” Phil asked.

“Oh, it’s only the most dangerous object in the Universe,” the Doctor told him offhandedly. 

Phil and Mike looked completely boggled by this information. 

“It can accurately predict the future. And not just one version of the future. It’ll show you the future down all of the possible timelines. Very dangerous stuff and not to be messed around with even by people like Tony and I, who know what we’re doing… well, most of the time, anyway,” he amended.

He directed his attention back to Tony. “You have it, don’t you?” he asked very quietly.

Tony took a deep breath. “Yes.”

“Rassilon’s sash!” the Doctor swore.

“Yeah, I’ve got that too,” Tony agreed, and the Doctor’s eyes widened.

“You’re joking!”

Tony only smiled. 

“Now, about Mike’s bracelet,” he said, taking the object in question out of his pocket and holding it up to the light. “What do you think, Doctor?”

“I think it’s a Micromeson Scanner, and I’m wondering who this ‘fan’ was that gave it to him.”

“It’s just a bracelet!” Mike protested.

“Oh, it’s much more than that,” the Doctor said. “May I?” he asked, and Tony tossed it to him. 

He ran his finger around the inside of the bracelet, feeling for something. 

“I’d heard they’d upgraded the technology,” he mused. “You used to need a projector for this, but now…” His finger found what it had been seeking. “Ah ha!” he exclaimed happily. “Now, watch.”

The room dissolved around them and suddenly they were back on stage, but with a twist.

They remained seated on their sofas, watching the band perform. 

“ _You’re turning me on, turnin’ me off, you’re making me feel like I want too much_ ,” the previous evening’s Phil sang at the microphone. “ _Livin’ with you is just a-puttin’ me through it all of the time!_ ”

“This isn’t possible!” Mike protested over the music.

“This is last night,” the Doctor told him. “And it _is_ possible.”

 _You’re running around, staying out all night, you’re taking it all ‘stead of takin’ one bite, living with you is just a-puttin’ me through it all of the time!_ ”

Phil was absorbed in watching himself perform. “Blimey, look at the back of my head!” he said.

“Not something you see every day, is it?” the Doctor said with a smile.

“All right, enough,” Tony told him. 

The Doctor manipulated the bracelet again, and they were back in the little room.

“So that thing… records… _everything_ ,” Mike said.

“Pretty much, yeah,” the Doctor agreed, pocketing the device. “I saw one used to steal the Mona Lisa once.”

“Really?” Phil goggled.

“Yeah, but I stopped it,” the Doctor told him confidently. “The thief had gotten Leonardo to make him up a half a dozen more copies and he was going to sell them all to six different bidders. Well, I popped back in time and wrote _This is a fake_ on all the panels Leonardo was going to paint them on… in black felt tip. He painted right over it, of course.” He frowned. “One of those is hanging in the Louvre to this day. Amazing they haven’t x-rayed it by now.”

Tony was staring at him, appalled. “You… you…”

“Defaced one of the greatest works of art in this planet’s history, yes,” the Doctor agreed readily. He shrugged. “A fire destroyed the original one. What else was I supposed to do?”

Tony put his face in his hands. “Only you, Doctor. _Only you_.”

“Well, I’ll take that as a compliment!”

“Why wasn’t any of that mentioned in _The DaVinci Code_?” Mike wondered.

“Would’ve been a lot better if it _had_ been,” Phil muttered.

“Is that thing recording us right now?” Mike asked.

“Oh no, I disabled it when I arrived. I was in the Vortex when I picked up its signal, and I just had to come see who was using technology like that in this place and time.”

“You just can’t resist an opportunity to meddle, can you Doctor?” Tony asked.

“Never!” the Doctor said with a grin. “All right, you lot. On to business. I wonder who wants to record you guys up close and personal. Either something very odd is going on, or someone somewhere is trying to put together one hell of a bootleg concert video!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Eye of Rassilon isn't a real Time Lord artifact; I made it up for a different _DW_ fic and just snuck it in here. ;)


	3. And Your Little Dog, Too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering, the CD that Jack and Martha listen to in the car is the [_Turn It On Again: The Hits_](http://tinyurl.com/39voza) CD.
> 
> [ _The Wizard of Oz_](http://thewizardofoz.warnerbros.com/index2.html) belongs to Time Warner Entertainment.
> 
>  _Star Trek_ belongs to CBS/Paramount Television.
> 
> And I'm still not making any money from this.

Jack was getting tired of the silence.

He grabbed a CD, struggled it out of its case one-handedly, and slid it into the player. He hit _Random_ , and the music of Genesis filled the SUV.

“I got a few of their CDs,” Martha said suddenly. “When I got back from… well, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Wanted to see what all the fuss was about, I guess,” she continued.

“Sure.” He glanced over at her, but she was staring out the window. “So what did you think?”

“Not really my kind of music, honestly.”

Jack frowned. Was it his imagination, or did she feel guilty about that? 

“I wonder if the Doctor likes their music,” he said carefully.

Surprisingly, Martha laughed. 

“Oh, I think he’s a _big_ fan… though I’m not sure the feeling’s mutual.”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Oh, you know how the Doctor can be.” He could hear the frown in her voice. “So maddening.”

Jack reached across the seat and took her hand. “He did care for you, you know.”

“Yeah.” Her voice was bitter. “Sure he did.” 

“You have a boyfriend now,” he reminded her.

“Yeah, I do,” she said in a tone that suggested that she didn’t want to continue this conversation. “And you have Ianto. Does that make it any better for you?” 

Before he could answer, she pulled her hand out of his and reached over to turn up the music.

_Truth is I love you_   
_More than I wanted to_   
_There's no point in tryin' to pretend._   
_There's been no one one who makes me feel like you do_   
_Say we'll be together 'til the end._

Martha hit the _Random_ button with more force than was strictly necessary, and the song changed. She made it halfway through "Throwing It All Away" before she’d had enough, and once more they drove on toward London in silence.

* * *

“All right, let’s see,” the Doctor said. 

They were inside his TARDIS, standing around the control console. He looked down at a little screen, frowned, and then held up the bracelet. 

“According to these readings, this wasn’t just recording, it was _transmitting_. And if it was transmitting – ”

“Someone must be receiving,” Tony finished.

“Yes, but who?” The Doctor looked at Mike. “The fan who gave this to you… what did he look like?”

“She, not he,” Mike corrected. “She was… um…” he frowned. “You know, I can’t actually remember!” He thought for a moment. “And now that I think about it, I’m not really sure it was a she…” He looked puzzled, and a bit disturbed. “I can’t seem to recall a single thing about him! Or her, I guess. Whatever it was.”

“Hmm, interesting,” the Doctor said. 

“Probably using some sort of primitive perception filter,” Tony offered.

The Doctor frowned. “No, that’s Time Lord technology. You’ve got to think outside the… erm, box, as it were.” He thought for a moment. “Could be a shapeshifter.”

“Could be,” Tony agreed noncommittally.

“Yes, a shapeshifter,” the Doctor said, his voice growing more confident. “Keeping itself locked between phases. It would be hard to get a read on _what_ it was if it were doing that.”

“Or it could’ve been a Chameleoniod,” Tony offered quietly.

The Doctor stared at Tony, his mouth falling open.

“You know, Doctor – those people who can blend in with anything, because they’ve got their own built-in – ”

“ – perception filters,” the Doctor finished for him. “Yes. Yes, that would make sense.”

“So,” Tony continued tranquilly. “Some sort of primitive perception filter.”

The Doctor gave him a look. He opened his mouth to say something, and Phil hastily stepped in before hostilities could begin in earnest.

“So, what’s that, then?” he asked. “A perception filter?”

“I’ll explain later,” the Doctor and Tony chorused in unison, and then exchanged surprised looks.

“Will you look at that,” Phil murmured. “Like two peas in a pod, they are.”

“Oh, who asked you?” Tony said crossly, and Phil laughed.

“Well, shall we go ask our mysterious friends why they’ve gone to so much trouble?” the Doctor asked. He held up the bracelet and smiled. “It was transmitting to _someone_ , after all.”

* * *

“Oh no, you don’t!” Tony was saying. “You’re not taking them out into God only knows what!”

The Doctor’s TARDIS had materialized, and they were now discussing logistics. Or rather, loudly arguing over who got to go out and who had to stay behind.

“I’m not having them killed,” Tony continued, gesturing at Mike and Phil. “You’re good for that kind of thing.”

“I think it’s up to them, actually,” the Doctor said with a shrug. He picked up his tan coat, thought for a moment, and then tossed it across the seats near the scanner.

“No, it’s up to _me_ ,” Tony told him firmly. “Look, I know you like having humans around. You get to explain things to them and make yourself look brilliant.” The Doctor opened his mouth to issue an indignant protest, but Tony cut him off. “But those are _my_ humans. If you want an audience for how fantastic you think you are, go and get some more humans of your own. It’s not _my_ fault you run through them so quickly; you shouldn’t be so careless with them.”

The Doctor stood there for a moment, simply flabbergasted. 

He couldn’t recall the last time someone had spoken to him that way. Most people he encountered either adored him or wanted him dead. There was rarely the strange kind of middle ground that he seemed to have found with this man, who neither adored him nor (as far as he knew) wanted him dead. In Tony’s eyes, the Doctor was an irritating annoyance who occasionally popped up to disrupt the smooth flow of his life, and nothing more.

“Oh all right,” the Doctor finally agreed with a sigh. He gently pulled the bracelet out of an input socket on the control console and pocketed it. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Don’t we get a say in this?” Mike wondered.

“Apparently not. Here,” the Doctor pulled the scanner screen around to a better angle. “You can watch, all right?” He pushed a button on the control console, and the main doors swung open.

“Listen, we’re not three years old,” Phil protested.

“Compared to us, you are,” Tony said. “And for God’s sake, don’t touch _anything_!” And with that, he and the Doctor were out the door.

“How do you like that?” Mike asked, folding his arms and leaning against the railing that circled the control console.

“I don’t,” Phil muttered, watching the scanner intently. “There they are.”

Mike hurried over to see. “God, it’s dark out there. What are they doing?”

“Just walking around, looks like.”

There was video only – no sound – and between that and the lack of lighting, it was difficult to tell what was happening. 

After a few minutes, the screen flared with light and Phil spoke. “Uh oh. Here comes trouble!”

* * *

The Doctor and Tony stepped out of the TARDIS and looked around.

“Gloomy place, isn’t it?” the Doctor said as they cautiously explored their surroundings. Tony made a noncommittal sound. “Reminds me a bit of the hold on _The Infinite_ ,” he continued in a chatty tone. “Ever been?”

“No,” Tony replied shortly, completely refusing to rise to the bait. The Doctor had at least expected to be told that _everyone_ knows that _The Infinite_ was only a legend, and that no one _seriously_ believed that it existed.

“You’re no fun,” the Doctor muttered. He took a flashlight out of his pocket and shined it into a particularly dark corner.

“You’re right, I’m not,” Tony snapped, rounding on him. “I don’t go gallivanting across Time and Space, sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong and dragging my friends into danger!” He snorted. “ _The Infinite_. Really, Doctor?”

“Really.” He held up two fingers in the darkness. “Time Scout’s honor!”

“And did you find your hearts’ desire?” Tony asked in an entirely different tone.

The Doctor was taken aback by this.

“I…” He took a breath, and when he spoke again, his tone had hardened. “No. Not on _The Infinite_.” He waited a beat, and decided that turnabout was fair play. “What about you?”

“I’ve never been on _The Infinite_.”

The Doctor swung his flashlight around to illuminate Tony. 

“That’s not an answer.”

“I don’t need to save the world every other day or chase all over the Universe to find the things that make me happy. I have a family, and friends, and a home. A garden. Some chickens. What else could I want?”

The Doctor stared at him. 

“That’s an appallingly mature take on life,” he finally said. “You’d better stop it, you’ll make the rest of us look bad!” He shook his head. “Seriously… _chickens_?”

“ _Greetings!_ ” a new voice boomed out of the darkness, making both men jump in surprise. 

Instantly, the room went from near total blackness to blinding illumination. The Doctor and Tony squinted, trying to see what was happening.

“Well, I guess I don’t need _this_ anymore!” the Doctor said, pocketing the flashlight. 

Gradually, the harsh light began to fade and dim, leaving the room brightly lit enough to see.

They were in a large square gray room. Everything was gray; the walls, the floor, the ceiling. Everything.

“Not much for interior decorating, whoever they are,” the Doctor observed quietly.

“ _Visitors, identify yourselves!_ ” the booming disembodied voice commanded. “ _Our readings indicate the presence of Artron Energy. You are time travelers!_ ”

Tony began to say something, and the Doctor hurriedly stepped forward. 

“I’m the Doctor,” he announced in a grand tone. “You might have heard of me. The Oncoming Storm? The Lonely God? No?”

“ _You travel in time!_ ”

“I’m the last of the Time Lords,” the Doctor replied haughtily. “I walk in Eternity.” 

He threw an arm around Tony’s shoulders and dragged him close, grinning like a lunatic. 

“This is my faithful human assistant, he comes with me everywhere. After all, I need someone to look brilliant to all the time, don’t I?” 

He glanced briefly at Tony and was relieved to see that the other man appeared to be stunned speechless by the Doctor’s ostentatious display of completely over-the-top behavior. 

“And I’m sorry, but I didn’t quite catch _your_ name,” he continued, releasing Tony. He stepped closer to the wall and began inspecting it in earnest.

“ _We are the Time Scavengers,_ ” the voice replied. “ _We will take you, Time Lord. And your Time Ship._ And _your faithful human assistant._ ”

“And your little dog, too,” Tony murmured.

“Not K-9!” the Doctor protested, aghast. He ran a hand up the wall in front of him. “Sonic screwdriver!” he demanded, holding his hand out behind him. After a moment, he felt the instrument slapped into his palm.

“Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain,” he said quietly as he ran the humming little device up a nearly invisible seam in the wall. 

There was a _click_ and a door slid aside, revealing darkness beyond.

“Ah, yes! This looks promising,” the Doctor said happily. He put his hands in his pockets and turned back to Tony. “Coming, my faithful human assistant?”

Tony glared at him briefly before following him into the darkness.

* * *

“Oh, I don’t like this _at all_ ,” Phil said, watching on the scanner as Tony followed the Doctor into the unknown.

“They know what they’re doing,” Mike said with a shrug.

Phil gave him a look. “Seriously?”

Mike shifted uncomfortably. 

“Probably.” 

Phil continued giving him that look. 

“Possibly.”

“Look, I’m not just standing around in here. We’ve got to do something!”

“What?”

“I don’t know,” Phil said helplessly. “ _Something_.”

“Well, there’s always _this_.” 

Mike’s hand came down decisively on a button and the TARDIS doors swung open. 

Phil stared at him in astonishment. 

“How did you know that button would do that?”

“I pay attention,” Mike told him smugly.

* * *

“So,” the Doctor said, leaning against the wall. “ _You’re_ the Time Scavengers.”

They really weren’t much to look at, being three little balls of red fluff up on an illuminated pedestal.

“I was expecting a bit more, to be honest,” he continued, turning to his companion. “Mind you, Tony, you should never underestimate little balls of fur. Ever see [_The Trouble With Tribbles_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Trouble_With_Tribbles)?”

“The what?”

“Never mind,” the Doctor said dismissively. “What I want to know is why these people gave Mike a Micromeson Scanner!”

“ _We detected time disturbances around that group of humans. We are always looking for new items to display in our museum._ ”

“Ah, that explains it. You thought they were using time technology, and that if you could just record everything they did you’d eventually stumble upon the source of the time disturbance.” The Doctor turned to Tony. “I have to admit that’s a pretty good plan. Unfortunately, they didn’t count on me showing up to stop them!”

“ _Enough!_ ” the booming voice said. “ _Seize the Time Lord and his faithful human assistant!_ ”

“Seize us? With what? You haven’t even got hands!”

Just then, three large vague forms materialized out of the darkness and crept toward them.

“You just _had_ to ask, didn’t you, Doctor?” Tony asked.

“ _Take them into custody for processing,_ ” the booming voice commanded. “ _We will see about stuffing and mounting them later._ ”

The shadowy forms came close, and the Doctor felt something like a cold iron claw close around his upper arm.

“Look, Tony – they’re Chameleoniods!” he exclaimed happily. “You figured it out! You’re brilliant!”

“And about to be stuffed and mounted,” Tony pointed out as another vague shapeless form bore down on him. “Any ideas?”

“Oi!” a new voice said. “I’ll trade you… uh… this thing for those two!”

The Doctor and Tony turned to see Phil and Mike standing in the doorway. Phil was holding the Doctor’s long tan coat.

“Oh no,” the Doctor groaned. 

Tony glared daggers at him. “Now look what you’ve done,” he complained angrily.

“ _Me_?” the Doctor protested. “Why are you always blaming me for _everything_? It’s not my fault that they figured out how to open – ”

“ _Silence_!” the voice boomed. “ _We sense Artron Energy in these two. More time travelers?_ ”

“Nnnot really, no,” the Doctor said. “They just hang around with him.” He pointed at Tony.

“They just hang around with him?” Mike repeated. He sounded insulted.

“Listen,” Phil interrupted. “What you want is in here.” He came forward and held up the Doctor’s coat.

“You can’t give them my coat!” the Doctor protested. “Janis Joplin gave me that!”

“Really?” Mike asked, astonished. The Doctor nodded. “I’d love to hear _that_ story sometime!”

“Bloody ‘ell, I’m not giving ‘em the coat! I’ve got something even better than that!”

“Phil, whatever you think you’re doing, it’s probably not a good – ” Tony began.

“It’s a Time Lord relic and the most dangerous object in the Universe!” Phil proclaimed in the tones of a game show host announcing the grand prize. He dug around in a coat pocket for a moment, and finally found what he was looking for.

“It’s the Eye of Rassilon!” he exclaimed, and triumphantly held up the Magic 8-Ball.


	4. The Quiet Ones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ _Men in Black_](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119654/) belongs to Amblin Entertainment.
> 
> Nope, still not making any money.

“Phil, have you lost your mind?” Tony demanded. “You can’t give them that!”

“Yeah,” the Doctor said, his mind working furiously. “How could you offer them the Eye of Rassilon? It’s more than our lives are worth!”

Mike already saw where this was going. “Maybe you’d better put that back, Phil,” he advised. “It’s _very_ dangerous!”

“ _What is it?_ the booming voice demanded.

“Oh no, you’ll never get _me_ to tell!” the Doctor said defiantly.

“ _Perhaps not… but the little one will tell us,_ ” the voice said. “ _Watch. Take the other one away for processing!_ ”

The form that was holding Tony captive began to drag him off into the darkness.

“No, don’t!” Phil protested, sounding desperate. 

“Don’t do it, Phil!” Tony called. “It doesn’t matter what happens to me. The Eye must be protected!”

“ _Have him stuffed and mounted for display in our museum!_ ”

“It tells the future,” Phil said miserably, sounding like the confession had been dragged out of him. His shoulders slumped and he looked utterly defeated. “I’m sorry, Doctor.”

The Doctor turned away from Phil, obviously disgusted by his weakness.

“ _And you will give us this artifact?_ ”

“Yeah, if you let them go and let us be on our way home.”

“And leave us alone in the future!” Mike added.

There was a moment of silence.

“ _Agreed. Release the prisoners!_ ”

* * *

“I have to admit, that was pretty brilliant,” the Doctor said as they entered the TARDIS. He closed the doors and began setting coordinates. “Don’t you think so, Tony?” he asked, glancing up from his work.

“Yes, cheating dangerous aliens by giving them a child’s toy was just brilliant,” Tony agreed sarcastically. “It’s not as though they can come looking for us once they realize they’ve been duped!”

“Well, they _did_ promise to leave us alone in the future,” Phil pointed out. Tony just gave him a look.

“Oh, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about seeing the Time Scavengers again,” the Doctor said confidently. He flipped a switch on the control console and grinned his _oh-look-aren’t-I-brilliant?_ grin. “They were using a jury-rigged time corridor to send the Chameleoniods to Earth, and I’ve just trapped them in it.”

Phil walked over and offered the long coat to the Doctor, who shrugged it on as he spoke. “They won’t be bothering you – or anyone else – for quite some time!”

“Did Janis Joplin _really_ give you that coat?” Mike asked.

The Doctor grinned. “Well…” Just then, the central column stopped moving. “It looks like that’s another story for another day.”

“Promise?” Mike asked.

“Promise.” The Doctor hit the door switch and held out his hand. “Mike, Phil, it’s always a pleasure.”

“Same here, Doctor,” Phil agreed, shaking hands.

“Try not to go around conning dangerous aliens with useless toys, all right? That kind of thing can get you into trouble if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

Phil laughed. “Right, I’ll keep it in mind.”

“And don’t take gifts from strangers you can’t even see,” the Doctor continued, shaking hands with Mike.

“All right, Doctor,” he agreed. “See you around, yeah?”

“It’s always possible,” the Doctor replied. He watched Mike follow Phil out of the TARDIS.

“Well,” he said, turning to Tony. “I guess this is goodbye.”

“I guess it is,” he agreed. “Try not to get yourself killed… again.”

“I’ll do my best.” Suddenly, he grinned wickedly. “Maybe I’ll pop by sometime for a stroll ‘round the garden and a look at those chickens. You could introduce me to the wife.”

“Please don’t,” Tony said, but he was smiling.

The Doctor sighed. “No, I probably won’t.” His tone became serious. “I really should stay far away from you. I wouldn’t want to lead anyone to you… or what you have.”

Tony turned back, pausing for a moment on his way out. “Oh, don’t worry about _me_ , Doctor. I can take care of myself.”

“Yes, I believe you can.”

And Tony was gone, closing the door behind him.

* * *

By the time Jack and Martha arrived at Twickenham Stadium, the concert was long over. 

Still, there were lights on and cars and equipment trucks parked in the back, and so they decided that they might as well see what was going on. After all, they’d come this far, hadn’t they?

Jack used his Torchwood credentials to bluster their way backstage.

“Listen, tell the band that Doctor Martha Jones is here,” he told the security guard, playing a hunch. 

Martha glared at him, but said nothing as the man went off to inform the appropriate personnel.

Jack was not at all surprised when a moment later, the guard reappeared and ushered them up the hallway, where they saw Phil and Mike standing off to one side talking. When Phil spotted them, his eyes lit up with recognition and he came toward them, smiling.

“Well, Doctor,” he said, and Martha giggled. “Told you you’d do well.”

“Thanks,” she said. She offered her hand, but he surprised her by pulling her in for a quick hug instead.

“I guess you two know each other,” Jack murmured. He didn’t sound a bit surprised.

“Yeah, sorry,” Phil said, releasing her and stepping away. “Oh, you didn’t meet Mike, did you?”

“No,” Martha said, shaking Mike’s hand. “Nice to meet you – finally! And this,” she added, gesturing at her American companion in the long gray captain’s coat, “is Captain Jack Harkness.”

“Hey Mike,” Jack said with a wolfish grin and just a hint of a wink. “Nice to meet you, big guy.”

“Jaaack…” Martha said warningly.

“And Phil,” he continued, still grinning. “Good things come in small packages, eh?”

“Stop that!” Martha told him, but she sounded like she was trying not to laugh. “So,” she said, trying to keep her voice casual. “Is the Doctor still around?”

“Nah,” Phil said. “He took off about fifteen minutes ago. You just missed him!”

“Oh,” she said. She wasn’t really sure how this news made her feel.

As she mulled this over, she spotted Tony coming up the hall. He was carrying several bottles and smiling.

“Miss… _Doctor_ Jones!” he corrected himself. “I thought we’d have a beer and – ” He suddenly stopped in his tracks, and the beer bottles slipped from his hands, shattering on the floor. 

“Tony, are you – ” Mike began.

Tony was staring at Jack, his eyes wide and his face pale. “ _What_ are _you?_ ” he demanded, his voice shaking.

Jack’s eyebrows went up. 

“Well now,” he drawled, slowly advancing on the other man and watching as Tony unconsciously took a step back for each step he took forward. “I think I could ask _you_ the same question.”

“Oh no!” Martha said. 

She and Phil and Mike all moved at the same time.

“Jack, stop it!”

“’Ere, what do you think you’re doing – ”

“Leave him alone!”

Phil and Mike now stood between Jack and their friend, staring at him with rather unwelcoming expressions. 

Martha was next to Tony, clutching his arm and leaning up to whisper in his ear. Jack caught the words “it’s all right” and “the Doctor said…” and “immortal” and “no, really, don’t worry about it”.

And the whole time, Tony never took his eyes off of Jack.

“Come on!” Martha said, finally stepping away from Tony and looking up at him meaningfully. “I _told you_ , he’s _a friend_.”

“If you say so,” he agreed softly, still watching Jack as one would watch a dangerous animal that had somehow gotten loose.

“Look, let’s go have that beer,” she said. “We have some catching up to do, right?”

“Sure,” he said, and slowly allowed himself to be led away by Martha. He glanced back over his shoulder several times, as though checking the location of the dangerous animal, just in case. 

“Your friend’s a little jumpy,” Jack observed mildly. He reached up and fiddled with his Bluetooth earpiece.

“I’m sorry, who are you again?” Phil asked in an unfriendly tone.

Jack smiled. “I’m with Torchwood.”

“I’m sorry, _who_?” Mike asked. His tone wasn’t any friendlier than Phil’s had been.

“Torchwood. We’re Earth’s first, last, and only line of defense against the worst scum in the Universe.”

Phil frowned. “I thought that was the Men In Black.”

“Is it?” Jack asked uncertainly. He thought for a minute. “Maybe it is. It sounded good though, didn’t it?” he asked with a grin. No reaction. “Well, anyway, we investigate alien activity. You know, like that little stunt on stage earlier tonight,” he continued smoothly.

Phil and Mike exchanged glances. 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, mate,” Phil told him sincerely. “Look, I’m just a drummer, all right?”

“We don’t know anything about aliens,” Mike put in.

“Right,” Jack agreed sarcastically. “So you don’t know anything about a Time Lord called the Doctor who travels around in a police box, do you?”

“Oh, _him_ ,” Mike said dismissively. “He’s just some crazy fan.”

“Yeah, it’s always like that, innit?” Phil asked. “Strange spotty guys in long coats,” He mimed having something shoved at him and put on an exaggerated accent. “ _’Ere, sign this, Phil._ ” 

“So, you have no idea who he is?” Jack was unconvinced. “Last of the Time Lords? Is that ringing any bells for you?”

“Nnno,” Phil said slowly, and glanced over at Mike. “You?”

“Time Lords?” Mike asked dubiously. “Never heard of them.”

“Look, there’s nothing odd or alien going on here,” Phil assured him. “You want us to show you around so you can see for yourself?”

“Yeah, I would,” Jack said, and grinned. “Convince me.”

* * *

Toshiko walked into Jack’s office, where she found him loading files into a cardboard box.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“We’re done with Genesis. I’m recalling all operatives assigned to them and declaring it a closed case.”

Toshiko frowned. “But what about all those reports of odd energy readings wherever they go, and the unexplained – ”

“Case _closed_ , Toshiko,” he said with finality. “Look, I met them myself; they gave me the backstage tour. There’s nothing suspicious going on there. It was all a big mistake, or some kind of weird misunderstanding.”

“All right, Jack,” she finally said. “You’re the boss.”

He grinned. “Don’t you forget it!” He picked up the box and handed it to her. “File this away for me?”

“Sure,” she agreed. “You done for the night?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Thanks, Toshiko.”

“You’re welcome, Jack.”

He watched her leave, then got up and shut his office door. He sat down behind his desk, smiling slightly. 

He couldn’t believe that Martha hadn’t realized that the Bluetooth earpiece she had been given to wear as part of the team could be controlled remotely, or that it could be used to eavesdrop on conversations… and to record them. 

He pulled out his cell phone, pushed some buttons, and put it down on his desk. 

He had already heard this conversation once, in real time at the stadium as he was being shown around by Mike and Phil, but he wanted to hear it again just to be certain that he had really heard what he thought he’d heard… and that it meant what he thought it did. 

He leaned back in his seat, listening to the recording play on the speakerphone:

There was the sound of a door closing, and footsteps. Then more sounds, like people settling into seats. And then – 

“He told us what you did, you know,” Tony’s voice on the recording said. “The Doctor. He told us how you saved the world.”

Martha snorted. “Yeah, did he?”

There was a pause.

“He never thanked you, did he? You saved _everything_ – including him! – and he never even thanked you. I’ll bet he just took it as his due, because he’s the wonderful and marvelous Doctor. The arrogance!” He sounded disgusted, but unsurprised. “So typical.”

Martha cleared her throat. “He did, actually. Thank me, I mean.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“I got your Christmas card.”

“Good.” There was a long pause. “It was silly… I just… well, when I got back, I just wanted to know you were OK.”

“I’m fine.” He sounded puzzled by her concern.

“I know. I _said_ it was silly, didn’t I? It’s just… well, The Year That Never Was. What do you remember?” 

There was a long silence.

“Not a thing,” he finally replied. “It’s sort of disconcerting. It happened, but it didn’t.”

“Imagine how _I_ feel!” she said. “I lived it, I have the memories, and yet it never happened!”

She was quiet for a long time. When she continued talking, her voice was hesitant.

“Listen,” she finally said. “When I was walking, spreading the story of the Doctor, I knew about the Resistance. They had this guy, a demolitions expert who was a constant thorn in Saxon’s side. He blew up everything in sight; he completely devastated Saxon’s supply lines and resources. And no one could catch him. He was like a ghost.” 

Her voice grew stronger as her story unfolded. 

“People began to think that he wasn’t even really just _one_ person, that there were different people all using his name, that it was a _code name_ , because every time anyone saw him, he had a different face, a different body.”

“Oh?”

“But I recognized the name and I knew it wasn’t a code name. I _knew_. And then, suddenly, no one saw him or heard from him again. _Ever_.”

“Well… a demolitions expert would probably lead a dangerous life… or lives.”

“Yeah.” 

She was silent for a long while. 

“You know… it’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it? They’re the ones you have to watch out for!”

Tony laughed. 

“The quiet ones,” he said, and there was the sound of two beer bottles clinking together.

Jack leaned forward and stopped the recording. 

He looked at the phone for a long time, and then picked it up, bringing up the control screen. 

His finger hovered over the _Erase_ button.

He thought about the Doctor.

_”It’s not easy, even just… just_ lookin’ _at you, Jack, ‘cause you’re_ wrong _,”_ the Doctor had told him, way back at the End of The Universe. _“You are. I can’t help it. I’m a Time Lord, it’s instinct, it’s in my guts. You’re a fixed point in Time and Space, you’re a_ fact _. And that’s never meant to happen.”_

“The quiet ones,” Jack murmured, and his finger came down on the button.


	5. Epilogue 1: The Companion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna Noble was originally going to be the companion for the scene in the epilogue. But then I changed my mind and had to write this additional little scene to explain my change.
> 
> This and the rest are for you, for Krissy. Be well, dear.

She was a college student, with long dark hair and pretty eyes. 

She was young, young in a way that he only vaguely remembered being. 

It was so long since he had been this innocent.

He started to tell her about the Empire State Building, how it had been built by Daleks as part of some plot to take over the Universe, but she wasn’t interested in that.

He ended up buying her a cup of coffee at a sidewalk café, where he filled her ears with tales of his adventures that he could tell she didn’t even half believe.

“I can prove it, you know,” he told her confidently. “Come with me. One trip.” He held up one long finger.

She stirred her coffee and watched him suspiciously. “Just one,” she agreed warily.

He grinned widely. “Krissy, you’re going to have the time of your life!”


	6. Epilogue 2: The Last Of The Time Lords

When he began to achieve fame early in the 64th century, they called him _The Maestro_. But it was a title he rejected for reasons that he would not explain, and so lacking anything else to call him (for he refused to give them his name), they settled upon _The Virtuoso_ instead. 

He had composed for all the greats, including the late Plavalaguna, better known across the Galaxy as The Diva.

He released music faithfully, but rarely deigned to perform in public. 

Most of his fans didn’t even know what he looked like; they may pass him on the street every day and have no idea.

That seemed to suit him quite well.

But tonight was a special night, a concert in support of a charity giving aid to various Diaspora, the people whose worlds were gone, had vanished, had been destroyed. 

That he had a soft spot for people without a home was one of the only things that was well known about him.

Speculation ran high, as it always did in matters involving The Virtuoso. The rumors were varied and unbelievable: that he had lost his own home, that he had once lived on Earth and been famous there, that he was centuries old. 

The even wilder rumor was only whispered: that he was the last known survivor of an ancient people who had vanished so thoroughly that even the legend of them was a mere memory.

No one – at least no _serious_ music fan – took these rumors seriously. The Virtuoso was merely a man who liked his privacy. And who could blame him, what with the shameful way that the intergalactic media would invade the lives of celebrities?

* * *

The Doctor and Krissy arrived mere moments before curtain time. He had meant to be early, but as had been the case so many times before, the TARDIS had not cooperated.

They found their seats in the very front row just as the lights began to dim.

“If you like, maybe we’ll go backstage to say hello afterwards,” the Doctor whispered.

“SHHHH!” the people behind him hushed.

“Though, he may not exactly be happy to see me,” he continued in a musing tone.

“SHHHH!” the people behind him hushed.

“Still – ”

“Doctor,” his companion interrupted.

“Yes, Krissy?”

“Please be quiet.”

“Oh. Right!” And he settled back in his seat as the curtain opened.

There he stood in a pool of light. 

The Virtuoso.

The applause thundered through the theatre.

Krissy leaned forward in her seat. 

“Oh, Doctor,” she breathed, amazed.

The applause finally died down.

And not more than six feet in front of her, The Virtuoso walked over to the grand piano, sat down, and [began to play](http://www.4shared.com/mp3/UsUsTc-7/03_Firth_of_Fifth.html).

FINIS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR’S NOTE: You may have recognized The Diva from her appearance in _The Fifth Element_ , which was written by Luc Besson.
> 
> And a special thank you to [Drox](http://www.whofic.com/viewuser.php?uid=34) for letting me constantly bounce ideas off of her. Maybe one day we’ll even finish our Frankenfic! :p


End file.
